"Jesus, what are we doing?"

by Terrell Clemmons

No one survives an abortion encounter unscathed. Even though he’d been raised in a family that was “thoroughly pro-abortion” and believed that abortion was “always the best option,” after his wife’s abortion, one post-abortive father was surprised by his own reaction. Despite the fact that he’d wanted it, insisting on it so vehemently he’d threatened to leave her if she didn’t consent to it:

"I found that I felt guilty, like I'd stepped over a line that shouldn't have been crossed. There was also a feeling of dread, of impending doom. I sensed that some sort of divine punishment was waiting for me, and it was frightening."

Dr. Arthur Shostak, who describes himself as “unswervingly pro-choice,” also confessed distress after involvement in an abortion:

"While I believe my lover and I chose the least-worst of the options available to us over two decades ago, I have lingering regrets about the situation."

And that paragon of virtue, Steven Tyler, wrote this about witnessing his girlfriend’s abortion, which he also had coerced under threat of abandonment:

"It was a big crisis. ... they put the needle in her belly and they squeeze the stuff in and you watch. And it comes out dead. I was pretty devastated. In my mind, I’m going, Jesus, what have I done?"

Jesus, what have I done? Whence cometh these reactions from decidedly pro-abortion fathers?  

What have I done? indeed. One of the three, the one who opted to remain unnamed, eventually let that question penetrate his emotional defenses. But it wasn’t easy:

"I kept trying to find ways to run from that feeling of punishment. I wasn't a Christian at the time, and I had no idea what I was feeling, or why. Our country's lawmakers had made abortion legal, hadn't they? They said everything was fine about it. So, why did I have these feelings? Why was my wife having these problems? During that time I started drinking more. I got more actively involved in sports. I did anything I could to try and cover up the feeling. I just wanted to quench it.

I didn't want to think about the abortion or have anything to do with the subject, but my wife's distress was a constant reminder. I tried to ignore her. If I allowed myself to believe that her problems were the result of the abortion, then I'd have to admit that what I did to her was wrong. I was very stubborn and very prideful. I had a heart like stone.

But one day I had a revelation. It was almost like someone removed scales from my eyes, allowing me to see clearly for the first time what I had done. My heart softened and I saw what abortion really was--not a solution to a problem, but the taking of an innocent life."

He faced the difficult reality of it, and that enabled him to process the distress and lay it to rest for good:

"Several years later, my wife got involved with a post-abortion counseling ministry in the local area. One day they had a men's outreach. I went, but I really didn't want to share anything personal with this group of strangers. … But I took a chance. I opened my life to these Christian men and told them what I had done to my wife.

I expected anger . . . but what I found instead was compassion.

I expected judgment and condemnation . . . but what I found instead was forgiveness and acceptance.

I expected hatred . . . but what I found instead was Christ's love being expressed through His people."

His answer to post-abortion distress?

"Jesus truly is the only answer to post-abortion guilt."

Father’s Day is this Sunday. Feminists will tell you that abortion is a women’s issue. It’s not. It’s about men just as much as it’s about women. Maybe more. Look at how all three of these pro-abortion men found themselves deeply troubled in the wake of a real abortion. Those feelings are saying something important. We would do well to listen to them.

For as much as loud voices of the day insist that everything's fine with it, the conscience knows better. It's not fine. The taking of an innocent life is never okay, and the conscience knows it. Face up to it, and Jesus can deal with the guilt of it. Ignore it, and it will remain. It's as simple as that.

May God bless fathers today, including the post-abortive ones. May God inspire more men to face up to what we are doing. And lay the abortion holocaust to rest for good.

Related reading:

• Harm's Way
• The Light of the World: The Steven Tyler and Julia Holcomb Story
• One Man's Story