In the
house where I grew up, when you walked through the door you had a choice
of three options. You could turn right and you would immediately be in
the “family room.” Or you could turn left and go into the “living room.”
Or, you could go straight ahead to the hallway, which would usher you
to all the other rooms of the house.
I never tended to spend much time in the living room, except during
holidays when my dad would set up an electric train around the Christmas
tree. Apart from those times, there wasn’t much to do in the living
room. I much preferred to go into the rooms that facilitated activities.
I once asked my mother why the living room was called that. She
replied it was because it was a place to live. The concept intrigued me.
Never before had I thought of living as a separate activity that people
did, abstracted from everyday life. I then asked my mother why the
family room was called the family room. She replied that it was because
that was the room where we went in to be a family.
I recently learned that the concept of the family room originated
from guidelines that the government issued in the middle of the 20th
century when specifying how homes could qualify for insurance. A new
model of the home emerged which deliberately detached it from labor and
functionality. Government planners urged architects and home-owners to
get rid of walls and doors, to eliminate various work rooms like the
sewing room and the pantry, and to focus the house instead around the
type of domestic bonding that was supposed to occur in rooms like the
family room. As the 20th century progressed, this de-functionalized view
of housing came to be the dominant view.
This shift was only possible because of the fruition of certain
trends that had been put in place at the time of the industrial
revolution.
Home and the Industrial Revolution
In some of Allan Carlson’s fascinating books, such as Conjugal America: On the Public Purposes of Marriage and Third
Ways: How Bulgarian Greens, Swedish Housewives, and Beer-Swilling
Englishmen Created Family-Centered Economies - And Why They Disappeared,
Carlson shows that in pre-industrial eras, the economic life of the
family was tightly bound to the home. In fact, prior to 1800, the vast
majority of people around the globe lived and worked in the same place.
Whatever else a couple’s relationship may have involved, they were quite
literally in business together. The home, in turn, was not a place
where people “lived” as a passive activity when they were not doing
other things. Rather the home was a small factory, a bustling hub of
productivity.
The geographical proximity of home and work had an impact on how
couples thought of their relationship to each other. A man and wife did
not think of their relationship as something that could be abstracted
from their mundane life together in the world, any more than I was able
to imagine living abstracted from the actual activities that make up
human experience. Sexual activity and economic activity were closely
bound together, and both were situated within an ecosystem of
obligations, responsibilities, priorities and expectations that were
bigger than the couple’s relationship. Because marriage was understood
to be bigger than the relationship itself, this helped to anchor
marriage in a narrative external to the two participates.
By contrast, at the time of the industrial revolution the locus of
economic activity was outsourced away from where people lived. Central
power sources like water and steam increasingly drew people to work
locations away from the home. But that was just the beginning, as more
and more activities that were once performed in the home were gradually
outsourced. Gardens shriveled and disappeared as growing was outsourced.
Eventually even schooling was industrialized, taken away from the home
and from apprenticeship relationships. What began to emerge was a
division between the home, on the one hand, and people’s lived
experiencing in the world, on the other.
Functionless Homes
In the early 20th century, American sociologist and novelist Charlotte Perkins Gilman
observed that the home economy had been stripped of everything except
cooking, cleaning, and child care. She saw this as an inevitable result
of our economic system and predicted that eventually capitalism would
claim even these last vestiges of the home economy. The advent of
packaged meals and industrialized child care has proved Gilman to be
something of a prophet.
As Gilman and others foresaw a time when the home would be stripped
of its functionality, not everyone thought that this would be a bad
thing. William Fielding Ogburn argued that it would be great for the home to be left with no meaningful functions except love, friendship, and relationship.
While the home is still the location of plenty of activities, and
while the advent of the computer is allowing many to return to their
homes to work, Gilman’s predictions generally hold true. The home now
does tend to be associated more with relationships rather than our lived
experiences in the world. The home is no longer integrally connected to
economic life as it was in pre-industrial eras. As already mentioned,
governments helped this process along through housing policy that
penalized economic functionality.
Marriage and Relationships
These changes
created new plausibility structures for how we understand relationships
in general and marriage in particular. (If you are unfamiliar with the
concept of “plausibility structures”, see my article “How Gay ‘Marriage’ became Plausible.”)
A more abstract concept of marriage began to emerge that was sustained
less by the husband and wife’s shared experiences and more by the
relationship itself and the emotional fulfillment it promised to give.
As Ken Myers noted in his Mars Hill audio journal when summarizing the findings of Allan Carlson:
“Carlson argues that the Industrial Revolution changed the shape not simply of the economy at large, but of family life, in so far as the economic life that was once tightly bound to the home was gradually sourced out of the home. The de-functionalization of the home rendered the home increasing[ly] void of the substance of what people did in life. Governments were complicit in this transformation of the home through housing policy and regulations that incentivized structural changes in the home corresponding to the loss of economic functionality. As family and home life was reduced to places of mere emotional bonding, the public understanding of marriage followed suit. Consequently, acceptance of sexual relations based solely on emotional fulfillment (as well as of the breaking of those relations when emotional needs were not being met) became socially normative.”
Another way of putting this last point would be to say that the
modern notion is that the couple’s relationship derives no meaning from
anything outside itself. It is the couple who define their marriage and
what it ultimately means to them. As such, the relationship is bigger
than the marriage rather than the marriage being bigger than the
relationship. This leads to an inflated, even idolatrous, valuation
placed on emotional bonding as an end in itself.
It would be simplistic to blame all these changes on the industrial
revolution. Many other social changes have contributed to the idea that
marriage is sustained by the relationship rather than the other way
round. However, industrialization certainly helped to create the notion
of “domesticity” as something detached from life in the world which, in
turn, contributed to the notion that marriage, like the home itself, is a
place for shear relationality sustained only by the conditions internal
to the relationship itself.
This article was originally published by the Colson Center. |
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1 comment:
I'm of the opinion that the way to save marriages and families is not to mount legal defenses against official "redefinitions" of these things, but to return home to where the family ought to be.
It appears that marriage and family have already undergone significant de-facto redefinition. We have gone from communal household families with family trades, to nuclear families dependent on external economies, to partial and single-parent families with ever greater dependency on everything outside of the home. The things that once demanded the wider, more cohesive and internally dependent family have all but disappeared in the culture--leaving what as a foundation for family?
What are these things that encouraged strong family and marriage institutions in the past? I argue that the present weakness is not a result of industrialization at all, but as Georg Simmel taught, a result of the same innovation that made industrialization possible: The mature money economy. Family structures have always mirrored the requirements of the economy, and whereas economy was once all about the management of the household, now it is not. Households are now dormitories where people go to relax at the end of a day spent at school, at work, and on the town.
Current events surrounding marriage law illustrate that the system is simply becoming conscious of this not-so-new reality and beginning to articulate along those lines.
I've followed some of your arguments in favor of "traditional" marriage, and I find them quite good.
Were blind people to suddenly demand access to drivers licenses, I would not think legislation clarifying "driving" as a thing their class can't participate in to be discriminatory at all. However, if times were such that even the drivers who see perfectly well were too distracted to watch the road, I'd begin to understand how withholding drivers licenses from the blind could be a sort of injustice, no matter how logical it ought to be.
There is a proper order of fixing things. I think we will soon realize the vanity of the struggle for this ideal when the reality of it has been dead and gone from so many quarters for some time now.
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